CHRISTMAS FUNNIES

I know, I know, I am finding it hard to keep up with blogging right now, but I've got to post these before I forget them!

McKenna

On Christmas day, McKenna wa admiring her new blendy pens when she looked at me and said
"Mom, I just love Santa Claus...he gives you whatever you want without you having to do anything for it! And he always knows exactly what I want!"

**obviously the statement, "if you're not good, Santa won't bring you presents" means nothing to her**

Harrison

Adam's birthday is on the 23rd and so Adam and I usually go out that night. We left our kids with Adam's parents and while they were there, someone in Adam's family asked Harrison if he thought he was going to get any presents from Santa this year. Harrison replied with, "(sigh) Well, it's going to be close! Sometimes McKenna just does things that make me hurt her!"

**I guess he knew how close he really was to gettting coal for Christmas**

Tyler

This is Tyler's first Christmas where he has really noticed things like the Christmas tree, presents, Santa Claus and especially the Christmas lights outside. So, everytime we would pull out of the garage, be it daytime or nightime, he would enthusiastically say, "oh, MEEMUS!!" (which in Tylernese means Chrismas lights) He was so cute this holiday season!! He even learned to sing Jingle Bells and Must be Santa - he would just walk around the house humming and singing the words he knew all day!

PLAYING TOGETHER

McKenna and Harrison are both good kids and I love it when I hear that they are playing together instead of fighting.

Yesterday afternoon, Harrison ran up to me and said, "Mom, guess what? McKenna and I are pretending to be spies!!" I told him that was great and they continued playing together for a little bit. Adam started listening into their pretend play and we soon found out why they don't play together so well sometimes. Here was the dialogue Adam heard (and not even a minute after this did their pretend playing stop)

Harrison: "McKenna, pretend that I'm dead because a guy shot me with a gun?!?"

McKenna: "No, how about you're just really impressed by my dancing!"

Two different kinds of spies, I guess! I could not stop laughing!!

CAN YOU GUESS?

I thought it would be fun to play a game called, Can You Guess, I'm going to tell you a couple stories from McKenna and Harrison and you try to guess what their answer was.....o.k.

Don't you just love all the Halloween catalogs you get in the mail every year?!? My kids love to look through them as they try to decide what they're going to be this year. McKenna and Harrison were going through one of the catalogs the other day. Harrison had wanted to be a ninja, wolverine, wolf man, vampire....and just couldn't decide. Then, Kenna piped up and said, "Well, Harrison, if you can't decide on any of those, you could always be.... (can you guess?!?)

...Michael Jackson!" and then pointed to this picture - Oh well, "King of Pop" or "The King"...what's the difference anyways...

I was sitting in the living room, playing with Tyler, when Harrison came walking into the room looking like this:

I asked him what he was wearing... (can you guess what he said?!?)

He told me, "Oh, this is a grandpa exerciser."

Bet you didn't guess that did you!

"QUESTIONABLE" LANGUAGE

Note to reader: if you are offended by questionable material, you may not want to read these, but I just couldn't pass them up!

MCKENNA

We were at my parents home the other day, and I was talking to my sister (who was having friend problems). She was telling me the situation, and finished her statement with, "I just wanted to tell him to get real and 'grow a pair!'

McKenna had heard this phrase and said, "yeah, you should tell him to get real and grow some hair!"

We all just busted up laughing!! McKenna thought she was so funny and proceeded to run outside and tell my mom, dad, and my grandparents that they should "get real and grow some hair!"

(I guess I 'm just grateful she didn't QUITE understand what my sister had said!!)

HARRISON

Everyday at Harrison's preschool, they learn a new letter, the sound it makes, and then his teacher has a bag of items that start with that letter. Yesterday, the letter of the day was "B". They were getting ready to pull another item out of the bag...(I'll admit his teacher kind of set herself up for this one) and she asked the class, "Who knows what a baby drinks out of?" (This is where I'm glad I have used the bodily terms I have thus far!) So, Harrison promptly yells out, "A MOM'S CHEST!! THE BABY DRINKS FROM THE MOM'S CHEST - AND SOMETIMES IT HURTS REAL BAD!"

Miss Karla had to contain herself and agree with Harrison...and then lead the class back on track to the answer she was looking for - Bottle.

KID FUNNIES

I need to get these funnies recorded before I forget them?!?

MCKENNA

THE MAGIC OF ADVERTISING

I never realized how much my kids pay attention to commercials until recently when McKenna has decided to become our households very own "Pitch Woman"...

Yesterday I was getting some apples for the kids when Mckenna asked me:

"Mom, have you seen the green bags?"

I looked at her and said, "what are you talking about?"

She then said, "I saw these green bags for fruit on tv and they keep your bananas good for like 25 days!"

I told her I had seen the bags but hadn't ever purchased any...she then looked at me with this "look" and said, "So, you think you don't NEED these bags?!? You just don't care that our bananas are going to go bad?!?"

*******

Now a couple months ago, we were driving down the road and Kenna asked me if I use mascara. I told her that I wear it sometimes but I don't wear makeup everyday. She then went directly into "her pitch": "Well, you know mom, there's a better way! The new Mascara Twirl (or something like that) it curls and applies at the sametime! Don't you want that mom?!?"

STRANGERS LIKE ME

I remembered this one, when we were at the local zoo with McKenna's school. Back when Kenna was a little over three, we took our children to Hogle zoo. One of the zoo's chimps had recently had a baby and it was huddled in a little ball right by the window. McKenna walked up to the window, gazed down at the cute little chimpanzee and started to sing, " I want to know, can you show me..." (from Tarzan) it was so cute!

BRAVO, BRAVO

McKenna and Harrison were doing tricks for each other on the furniture (grrrr...) and after a very impressive move by Harrison, Kenna began clapping and saying, "PROVO....PROVO...PROVO!!" Translation: BRAVO...BRAVO....

HARRISON

THE BREAD

Harrison has made us laugh so many times when he repeats whatever he THINKS we've just said, and it's been way off! Well, the other night we had chicken cacciatore with salad and some french bread. Adam had told Harrison what we were having and to come to the table. I guess when Adam had mentioned french bread Harrison heard something different because Harrison politely asked, "Mom, can you please pass the 'MAN BREAD'?!?" So, from now on, french bread will forever be known to us as "Man Bread"!

The day after our little "car accident" in the garage, Adam had told the kids to watch out for any antifreeze they saw on the floor ....Harrison looked at Adam with this look of disgust and replied, "There's ANT PEE on the garage floor - SICK?!?"

SWIMMING POOL

Adam took the kids to his work the other day. While passing by a house, Adam saw a swimming pool out on the lawn (the 3 layer kind that's white, blue, white...know what I'm talking about?!?) and said, "hey guys, wouldn't it be fun to have a pool like that at our house?" Harrison replied, "yeah, only why would I want to swim in a pool full of whipped cream?!?"

WHO NAMED WHAT!

While we were at Bear Lake this last week (I'm working on the post) Harrison asked Adam this intriguing question: "Dad, why are they named M0-SKI-TOES and not "DRILL NOSE BUGS"? Very interesting question indeed!

I tell ya, I love my kids and their cute and hilarious sayings!

KID FUNNIES

Just a few funnies from the kids...

-To dream the impossible Dream -
Adam took my car in to have the oil changed and took Harrison with him - they call it "boy time". As they were waiting, Harrison noticed the pit underneath the car and asked Adam what it was. Adam told him the guys worked down there to change the oil and fix cars. Harrison's reply.."I totally want to do that - I want that for my job when I grow-up! That's awesome!!" Reach for the stars, Harrison!

- Caught in the Act...almost-
I have always been amazed at how well Harrison's sense of smell is. He is the one you don't want to be around when you "slip" out an unmentionable in public (there's a whole bunch of stories to tell from that alone!!) and he's the first to track out smells in stores etc. Today we had to venture out to the store. Usually I bring along a snack for the kids to eat but hadn't today because it was getting too close to dinner. However, I had brought along a snack (a few Reese's pb cups) for myself, hoping to eat it without being caught. I should have known better with Harrison in the car...before long I hear Harrison sniffing at the air...

Harrison: "What is that smell? It smells good in here!"

Me: "What do you mean? What does it smell like?"

Harrison: "It smells like Peanut Butter?!?"

I could not believe it! I had to turn up the radio and quietly tuck the wrapper under my leg so I wouldn't get caught by my own kids!!


- Personal Trainer -
Adam and I are trying to get ourselves back in shape. Adam usually gets up and does a little bit of weight lifting and then some eliptical. The other morning he had told the kids he was going downstairs to exercise and Kenna said, "I'll be the one at the top of the exerciser saying, 'You do not stop!! You keep going!'..mom watches that show all the time!" (I'm assuming she was referring to Biggest Loser)

- Deep Thoughts -
(This one is cute...but also sad at the same time)
I find it interesting how much kids want to talk while driving in the car...sometimes I enjoy it and others I do not. However, yesterday I decided to be 100% committed to the conversation on our drive to dance class. McKenna decided to ask a few questions about - daylight savings time change?!? Her question was very thoughtful..."Mom, how come the people just ask to have the daylight be longer and Heavenly Father does it, but we ask for Josh back and He can't just bring him back?" Gosh, I thought it was going to be hard to explain the whole daylight savings time thing... we all miss Josh very much and only wish it were possible to have him back with us here!

GOOD COP/ BAD COP

Last week, McKenna went over to her little friends house. Her friend, Katilyn, is having a rough time right now because her parents are getting a divorce (whole other story) anyway, Kenna was a little nervous to go over there but I just told her to come home whenever she wanted and I'd be home.

It had been about 45 minutes when she came bursting through the door with tears in her eyes and fear on her face! I asked what was wrong. She then proceeded to tell me that her and Kaitlyn had been playing when the door bell rang. They both ran to see who it was - when they opened the door they saw this:


Well, not THIS cop exactly...so, I got nervous for a split second at this point of the story because I thought, "oh no, the ex-husband must have come over and the couple got in a fight etc..." and I was about to reach for the phone but decided I ought to question Kenna a bit more. I asked her why the policeman had come over and why she was scared. She then told me that as soon as she saw him, she ran to Kaitlyn's room and started to cry - afraid the cop was going to take her to jail!! I couldn't figure out why she would think that until....

Rewind a year or so ago - McKenna and Harrison were now in their own booster seats and sometimes would not put on their seat belts. Me, being a very smart mother, told them that if they did not put on their seat belts and we were to get pulled over by a cop, then I would get taken to jail ( I thought it best to use the scariest consequence possible).

Since this brilliant conversation with my kids, they have some how been under the impression that policemen are BAD...even when we have discussed strangers and getting lost...I've told them they can talk to a policeman in uniform if they are ever lost or feel scared. I remember Harrison then asking, "how will I know if it's a good policeman or a bad one?!?"

My mind then turned back to my little Kenna still trying to calm down and me having to explain to her that policemen only take grown-ups to jail - never kids - (unless the kids are really bad...wait, I shouldn't have told her that either!!!) Then, the phone rings and it's Kaitlyns mom asking if everthing is o.k. and I had to explain my guilt to her for scaring my children into wearing their seatbelts... the policeman ended up being the mother's friend and was just coming over for dinner. I can only imagine what thoughts went through her and the cops mind as Kenna fled the "scene" as soon as possible!


Oh, what fun it is to raise children and always have them remember the wrong parts of the "learning lesson"...so, how have you all damaged your children?!?

LET'S MAKE A DEAL!

It always seems that our kids want SOMETHING! We have tried "responsibility charts" to help them earn an allowance, but I don't always follow through and the chart loses its excitement before too long. So, now (and this is probably considered bad parenting) we will either bribe them with money (0.25) or we'll "make a deal". The kids have caught on to this:

The other night, McKenna and I were trying to figure out what part of the morning routine she could do by herself. I had told her that she could wake up by herself and get dressed - then I would help with the rest. Suddenly, her eyes lit up and she said, "I know, let's make a deal. You guys can put a bowl of candy outside your room and, everytime I get up by myself, I can get a treat!" hmmm - NO DEAL -

One morning Harrison had noticed some cookies on the counter (from the night before) and had asked Adam if he could have one for breakfast. Adam said no. Harrison's reply: "Here's the deal...you let me have a cookie for breakfast and I'll give you one of my dollars!" - NO DEAL -

COMPLETE DEVOTION

Adam manages a mail and copy center, ShipPro, and I take the kids there quite a bit for various reasons. A lot of the time, while we're there, the kids will see the FedEx, UPS, Post office pick up packages.

So, a few months ago, while we were driving down the road, I heard both kids start cheering and chanting, "ShipPro, ShipPro, ShipPro!!" A second later, I noticed this truck driving by:

Isn't that cute?!? To this day, when they see the UPS truck drive by (which interestingly enough is our competition - the UPS store) they still cheer and chant "ShipPro....!" All because of their complete devotion and love for their daddy..

TYLER'S TEETH

So, Tyler has now pushed through 4 teeth in 9 months (some people have told me that's fast) I am a little worried, though, about the overcrowding I'm already seeing in his mouth!! Take a look at the picture - what do you think?!?



I guess he has the same teeth as the rest of the kids!!



One of McKenna's friends gave her these silly teeth for her birthday, and the kids have had nothing but fun with them (as have I).

HARRISON FUNNIES

Harrison is one of the funniest kids I've ever known...he says some of the funniest things. Here are a few from the last few days:

Harrison likes to wear his socks to bed and then change them in the morning (is this why boys feet stink more than girls?!?) I will admit there are days when he wears the same socks more than one day..so, the other day we were getting ready to leave to the store and I noticed Harrison didn't have socks on. I told him to go get some socks on. He came back in with a pair in hand and asked me to help him get them on.

me: "Harrison, are those clean socks?"

Harrison: "Yes..." (with that certain look on his face)

me: " Are you sure? Are you telling me the truth?"

Harrison: (with a bit of frustation in his voice) "Yes, they are clean...pause...a few days ago."


The next morning, Adam was helping Harrison get ready for the day and told him he neede to brush his teeth like dad was getting ready to do. Harrison asked why we need to brush our teeth (he's such a big fan of it). Adam then told him if we don't brush our teeth our breath will stink. Adam then breathed on Harrison and said, "did that smell good?!?" Harrison looked at Adam and said, "It smells like poopay!" Adam said, "What?!? What is poopay?!?" Harrison looked at him and said, "You know, poopay - when the horses poop on the hay and it smells like POOP-HAY!!"

The last funny happened yesterday at church. I had gone home early, so this story comes from Adam. He was picking the kids up from Primary when a lady grabbed Adam and told him how funny Harrison was today in church. It was during sunday school sharing time and the Primary President was up giving her lesson. Now according to Kim (the one telling this to Adam) the teacher had been going on, and on, and on...so finally Harrison said, "When are you going to stop talking?!? Agh, you've been talking for like fifty hundred hours!" I would have loved to see the look on the teacher up there as well as everyone elses...you've got to love kids!!